If I were famous....

As I watch the Golden Globes last week, I was thinking about how often I hear celebrities complain about the paparazzi, and that made me think of some things I would do to "mess with" the paparazzi.  Here is my list:

- I would constantly rub my belly as I walked around in public, and randomly stop and look at baby clothes.

- I would stop in at lawyer's offices and come out with paper work for restraining orders, divorce, adoption... and I would flash it around as I walked past paparazzi.

- I would "close talk" with all of my friends... which would cause constant speculation about my relationships

- I would constantly change my accent when I was speaking close to the paparazzi - British, French, Spanish, German (although my accents would be horrible so no one would know what accent I was trying to do).  Then I'm sure they would constantly speculate that I was having some kind of breakdown or psychotic break.

- I would wear horribly matched clothes, do my hair in weird styles, or wear ridiculously coloured makeup (instead of blush, put green eyeshadow on my cheaks, that kind of thing...) and when people ask about whether I'm trying to start a new trend, I would pretend I had no idea what they were talking about, and describe my outfit as something totally different than what I was actually wearing.

Why would I do all of these things?  It's a little bit like "the boy who cried wolf", eventually, people would tire of my "crazy antics" or "drama", and they wouldn't pay attention to anything I did.

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Note - I'm not really sure that they would "tire" of these things if I was say... Angelina Jolie.... but, I could try it.  But then again, I'm not famous, so no one would really care if I did this in my current job.